School starts tomorrow. That is so hard to believe. I feel like my life since I have been home from Argentina has been a whirlwind. I was able to fit in a pretty good summer, though. I did some camping, beach going, bonfiring, cottage-ing, hanging out with friends, and some family time. The latter not as much as I would have liked, but it was nice to be home. I also worked at the ISD, which I am so thankful for.
After my solo trip up to the north of Argentina, I had a few days in the city alone until my family and boyfriend came to visit me. I am so appreciative that they all made the long trip down to Buenos Aires, and I loved showing them around the city. We went to a tango show, an art museum, ate delicious Argentine beef, walked around different neighborhoods in the city, and even made a trip up to Iguazú, where there are giant waterfalls. I can’t tell you how great it was to have the people who are closest to me become acquainted with my new city and my new family. It definitely was the best way to end my stay in Argentina.
Sometimes I look back at my trip and it feels like it was all a dream. None of the people that I met down there are around me here in the States, and I also left behind a whole family that I miss dearly. It almost seems that my semester in Argentina was a completely separate life from my life now, and there is no way to describe it to anyone. I feel like I went into hibernation from my regular life, grew immensely a person, and then woke up into my regular life. And I’m not so sure how I feel about that. I love where I’m at in life now, yes. I am capable of doing anything on my own and have this fresh feeling of self-confidence. I know now that if I work hard at anything, everything can be within my grasp, and I can do whatever and go wherever in the world that I want to.
All of this new me comes with a cost, of course. I feel some disconnect from everything that I knew before. For example, being back here at school feels really strange to me. Everyone went on with their lives while I was gone, obviously, and I have to kind of squeeze my way back into the swing of things. The other hard part is that Argentina was such an important time in my life, I grew so much and had such a great experience and learned so much, but people will take maybe thirty seconds to ask how it was and say, “You had a good time? Great! See ya around!” Granted, there is no way that I could describe those five months to them without talking their ear off for a week, but it kind of puts life into perspective for me. People are all struggling through this whole life thing, and no one really has the time to worry about the exact way that other people are living their lives. Which is funny, because we worry so much about what other people think about the little things in our lives, like our hair-dos or our clothes or that funny mole on our face. When it comes down to it, however, no one really notices and no one really cares.
Wondering what other people think about me is something that really died in Argentina. You really can’t take yourself seriously when the people who surround you are speaking a different language than your native language and for the first few months you’re speaking like a little kid. People are going to laugh at you, and you’re going to laugh at yourself, and communication itself becomes so much more of an important factor rather than what you pulled out of your closet to wear that day. Something else that changed was my view on school. My whole life, going to college was something that was never a maybe, it was just there, along with elementary, middle, and high school. But, after spending so much time in a foreign country and meeting so many people with such interesting lives, I really do see college as my OWN choice. I could just work and travel if I wanted to. I don’t feel tied down to college. Now I do see college as something that is the key to what I want to do as a career and as something that I want to work hard at for me, not for anyone else. In Buenos Aires, I took classes that may not advance me in the public health world at all, Cultural Icons of Argentina, Argentine Poetry, Argentine film, etc., but they are classes that I found interesting for ME. And now I’m at Hope, taking Biology and more Spanish because I find them interesting for ME. Not because someone told me to do it, but because I personally find those interesting.
I’m hoping that once my classes start, things will begin to fall back into place and I will feel like I belong. Right now I’m still trying to sort out everything that I just went through and break through this little identity/world/life crisis. Studying abroad definitely was a great choice for me, and I am so glad that I decided to do it. I learned so much about myself and the world and how I see myself in it. I wouldn’t throw that experience away for anything. I appreciate everyone who read my blog and who thought about me while I was away. If anyone wants to hear any stories about my trip or see pictures, just let me know, I love talking about my experience. I guess this is me signing off until my next big adventure.
Hasta luego, Rach
